Ars iPhone Review

It's funny. I just read Ars Technica's exhaustive-as-usual iPhone review, and in the conclusion they write:

It's clear to us that the iPhone wasn't meant, at the outset anyway, as a smartphone for smartphone people (who typically end up being business people). Instead, the iPhone was meant as a smartphone for everyone else: average people who, until now, had no reason or motivation to get a BlackBerry or something similar that may have been more difficult to use and had way too many features for the average phone user.

Why is this funny? Because the Ars crew and I completely disagree when it comes to the things we love and hate most about the iPhone. Particularly Safari — it's their "home run," but my least favorite part. This discrepancy is primarily a matter of perspective. I am a typical, non-smartphone using cell phone user. Or at least that's where I'm coming from. I'm used to surfing the web on a computer and using a phone as a phone and contact device. So everything that improves upon the telephone experience is a boon for me, but I never surfed on my phone anyway, and compared to my computer the iPhone just can't stack up. Smartphone users, on the other hand, have been frustrated by this crippled, mobile version of the web on their phones for years, so the iPhone's version of the web is a huge boon for them.

What's amazing, though, is that in the end we both come out fairly pleased with the device on the whole. Ars gives it an 8 out of 10. I'd give it a 9. But overall there is enough good about the iPhone to please both the cell phone crowd and the smartphone crowd. Now that's what I call balance!

If you really want a thorough review, I highly recommend the one at Ars.

Finally!

I still have no time to post, but I did want to squeeze in a quickie regarding yesterday's WWDC news (or lack thereof).

Needless to say, count me among the underwhelmed. A usual, we were all expecting big things, but this seemed like WWDC 2006 reheated. Leopard looks nice, but hardly revolutionary. We've been waiting two years. We want revolutionary. We want the iPhone on the Desktop.
I guess there's always next year.
Oh yeah, and Safari on Windows? Great. If you're a Windows user. Or a Safari user. Unfortunately, Safari lost me a while back, and it's going to take a lot of catch-up for it to get back to the top spot in my browser list. Still, I will say, I'm typing this in the Safari 3 Beta, which I didn't used to be able to do on Blogger. At least not properly. There are still some things that don't quite work right, but it's much better than it was. And overall I'd say I'm favorably impressed with this version.
But for me the happiest moment was seeing Apple's new home page. They've finally ditched the 10+ year old pinstripe and Chiclet tab bar for something a bit more modern and refined.

Finally!


Apple's New Tab Bar: Much Better
(click image for larger view)

UPDATE:
As a couple readers have pointed out, looks like the Apple redesign is for the U.S. site only at this point. I never realized I had such an international readership.

Google Gone Deaf?

So the other day I was searching the term "Risso's dolphins" on Google. Something I'd read had referenced them, and I was curious what they looked like. So I type "Risso's dolphins" into that ever-familiar Google search field, and this is what I get back:


Google Search: Do I Stutter?
(click image for larger view)

Uh, yeah. I did mean "Risso's dolphins." That's why I typed, "Risso's dolphins."

Seriously, Google, you're losin' it, man. Maybe you should see a doctor.

Ass-Fucked by Flash and Java

I'm in a rotten mood lately. It's my time of year. Sorry for all the ranting and swearing. Keep your kids away for the next couple of weeks.

Right, then.

I've always been baffled by the use of the "Start" page or "Enter" page at the front of some websites. I mean, really, what's the point of these things? If I didn't want to start or enter the site, I wouldn't have gone there in the first place. And, technically, I've already "entered" the site simply by navigating to it. So, I've always asked myself, why the extra step?


The Enter Page: Get Ready to Take One in the Heiny
(click image for larger view)

Today I think I figured out the answer. The Enter page signals something subtle but immensely important: You are about to be fucked up the ass. When you click the Enter button, a series of things is about to happen. First, a new window will pop up. This new window will be of a size, position and aspect ratio of the site author's choosing, i.e. not of your choosing and probably as gigantic as possible. The URL bar, bookmark bar, tab bar and anything else you might rely on for browsing the web will be disabled. And this new, probably gigantic window will most likely be populated with... nothing, at least for the first few seconds, save for a "progress" bar (really, is this progress?), which is a sure sign that, yes, you've just been anally reamed. Congratulations.


Flash Progress Bar: How's Your Tookas Feeling Now?
(click image for larger view)

Eventually, the Flash will load and you'll be browsing the site in no time, and, like some sort of alien abduction, you'll have absolutely no memory of this violation. Next time you see that Enter button, you'll go right ahead and click it like nothing ever happened. And then later you'll scratch your head and wonder where all the rectal bleeding is coming from.

So this post is a warning to all you forgetful folks out there. If you see a Start or Enter page for a site, just remember: It's a trap! Don't click it! No good can come of it.

Someday you'll thank me.